On Looking Forward: The Invitation
The Invitation
by Opriah Mountain Dreamer
It doesn’t interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing.It doesn’t interest me how old you are.I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love,
for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.It doesn’t interest me what planets are squaring your moon.
I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow,
if you have been opened by life’s betrayals
or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain.
I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own,
without moving to hide it or fade it, or fix it.I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own,
if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you
to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us
to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.It doesn’t interest me if the story you are telling me is true.
I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself;
if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul;
if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.I want to know if you can see beauty even when it’s not pretty, every day,
and if you can source your own life from its presence.I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine,
and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, “Yes!”It doesn’t interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair,
weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.It doesn’t interest me who you know or how you came to be here.
I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.It doesn’t interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.
I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else falls away.I want to know if you can be alone with yourself
and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.
A few years back, I made a resolution to stop making resolutions every New Year (Just cause I’m hipster like that). I felt like it gave me an excuse to slack off for the next couple of months because I’ll do better next year. So instead, I promised myself that I would make resolutions whenever I felt it was time for a change.
This year however, I felt that a lot of things had to be new for 2012 but I could never really put a finger on it. Don’t get me wrong though, the past year was amazing and because it was, it made me even more hopeful for the next.
It was when I stumbled upon this poem by Opriah Mountain Dreamer and fell in love with every word that I decided to let it inspire me for all of the 366 days of this year. Suddenly, losing weight, saving money, taking more photos and whatnot seemed like a small thing when compared to the bigger picture.
Dear 2011 and 2012,
It’s within these quiet times in between the leftovers of last year and the sunrise of next year that I find myself grazed with thoughts that go over a hundred miles an hour.
With another full year to scathingly scrutinize, it’s not hard to miss the misses. When what you have is one-fourth the person you wish you were, a weight anchors your courage to the bottom of your stomach. The losses escape count, the ghosts of opportunities missed attack your mind and don’t get me started on the ‘should have, would have, could have’s. With the new year in mind, I’m not sure if I’m chasing a resolution or running away from the fear of regret.
But the same fear fuels the want hunt down that resolution and to give justice. But is being afraid of not fixing your life enough to actually fix your life? After all, I still have a third of a whole person’s shoes to fill. Is being scared of being inadequate stronger than the want to be adequate? I’m not sure, but I need to find out soon. I have to find a that solid push so that anchor can let me have my guts back.
So - courage. I need a lot of it. And I need to want it more than I do now. Cause with the uncertainty plaguing me, I’m afraid I’ll end up with a half empty cup again.
But this is just me rambling. Decluttering my mind, if you will. Move on, 2012. I’ll see you in the morning and when I re-read this, I might have figured some things out.
New Year’s eve is like every other night; there is no pause in the march of the universe, no breathless moment of silence among created things that the passage of another twelve months may be noted; and yet no man has quite the same thoughts this evening that come with the coming of darkness on other nights.Hamilton Wright Mabie
On Looking Back.
2011 was a rollercoaster and then some. I can’t even begin to express how amazing the past year was.
It was the year that I…
1.) Decided on my path and left MH for Communications (But will always keep my Block in my heart!)
2.) Spent time with incredibly talented, fun and sometimes really strange people. Haha!
3.) Pushed myself to try new things and challenges, like the EB race and the McKinley High Fencing Tournament.
4.) Worked and parted ways with good classmates. (Fil for Foreigners and R54, whadupppp!)
5.) Said goodbye to some people who’ve helped me through my Freshman year.
6.) Turned 18 and fell in love with life all over again.
7.) Said goodbye to my first year of college.
8.) Had the perfect summer day.
9.) Built a blanket fort and found something magical.
10.) Loved my old friends…
11.) … and made new ones.
12.) Had an adventure.
13.) Fought in UAAP, lost, smiled and loved my team.
14.) Tried again.
15.) Spent time with the people that I love and find truly important.
More than words, I think these show what made 2011 spectacular. I could not be more grateful for all the love, laughter and lessons I’ve gained from the past year. For everyone that helped make it what it was - I thank you. I hope that your year was just as great.
Because of all the challenges that were won, and despite those that were lost, I look towards 2012 with hope.
Goodbye 2011. Thank you for being good to me. :)
(Photo credits to: Jio Igual, Ean Dacay. Kevin Tatco, Pia Guballa, Daniel Olivan)
1230 AM on my roomie’s laptop. (Hi Arie, love you long time) I’m rusty with paint. LOLOLOLOL. No more 9gag for me.
Okay time to work.
(In my defense, the email from my prof went to spam :( Thanks Q1 for always having my back! :D And yes I do wear Nanay clothes to sleep.)
I think this is the best pic ive ever seen in my life thus far.
African American doctors attempting to save the life of a Klu Klux Klan member:
This photo left me speechless, this is what respect is.
Such a powerful photo. It just goes to show that through the eyes of charity, humility, and selflessness, we realize that anyone’s life is worth saving.
I never thought this post would get so many notes. I just admire the meaning that is attached with this powerful picture.
One of the best post i have encountered on Tumblr.
Incredible.
(Source: themissmaria, via niknacks)
Straight Lines and Splashes
I finally got off my lazy butt and started doing legit shoots again! This one is an idea I’ve wanted to experiment with for a while now. I’m extremely happy to be able to have it out of the way. :)
I wanted to play with color, lines, curves and of course, a contrast between them.
We played around with a lot of colors and expressions to go with them. I love how expressive Micah can be! Our friend, Beggy, helped a lot too in coming up with ideas. :)
Props for letting me put paint on her face. This is why Micah is my go-to model for wild shoots like this!
This was such a fun shoot! Thanks so much to:Model & MUA: Micah Barker
Assistance: Adrian Begonia
Equipment: Ean Dacay
Please visit my DeviantArt for high res versions! :)
November 2011
An idea for a photoset I’ve been wanting to do for months now. This is just a quick teaser post while I’m editing the rest of the photos. I’m mighty excited. :>
Model & MUA: Micah Barker
Photo & PP: Aih Mendoza
Assistance: Adrian Begonia
Halloween 2011
Back from the hiatus! I didn’t have internet for about the last week of my sembreak and then my laptop had to be reformatted so I had to take a good amount of time to reinstall all my programs. But now I’m back to blab about the (not-so) current events on my end of the screen. Phew.
So - my Halloween this year was spent getting diabetes.
Beau and I Trick or Treat-ed (Trat?) in Paradise Village with his family and it was so much fun. I haven’t gone door to door in a costume in years! Dressed up as Pac man and Pinky the ghost which earned us a couple of amused smiles and greetings on the village streets. Spent a good 2 days cutting up and pasting together some cardboard and cartolinas, but it was so worth it. This might be my favorite costume yet, actually.
The day after, we took our pick of the good candy and used the left over chocolate to make Chocolate pasta, which we’ve always wanted to make. Melted a few bars of chocolate with a chunk of butter and cut some pieces of nuts up to add crunch. It was actually pretty good! But not as good as I’d have hoped. Still, it was sinful what we ate post-Halloween. Finished Portal 2 coop mode, though, which was intensely satisfying. :D
Definitely a good year for Halloween.
9. Spend a weekend away with friends
Last weekend, I had my biggest adventure this sem break. The Calderons were amazing enough to bring me with them to an this adventure resort in Danasan, Danao for a whole weekend where we went spelunking, river trekking, wake boarding and swimming in waterfalls.
It was incredible fun. It’s been so long since I’ve had a great adventure like that, and it’s been too long since I’ve done something for the first time as well. The food was great, the people were friendly and the place just called for excitement. There was still ziplining and horseback riding to conquer, too!
So in the end, it was definitely one of the better weekends I’ve had in a long while. Hiking by day, scrabble and poker by night, getting up to see the sunrise and the company of really good friends are just the things to make a break extra special.
Attended my first Violin Recital as part of the audience yesterday. What is nostalgia? Time flies too quickly. I miss being up there.
Public service announcement.
Anonymous asked: are you close to Paolo S.?
I know two people who are ‘Paolo S.’ Why are you asking? You also asked me ‘I miss Paolo. :( When is he coming back?’ — Which I have no idea what that’s about. Haha.
Adorable Animals Being Adorable of the Day: BBC One’s Frozen Planet starts next week. Get pumped by watching adorable penguins steal from other adorable penguins and remain adorable while doing so.
Too cute!
